Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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