Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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