first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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