I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
