okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
