When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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