whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
