K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
