those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize