he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i barfeds in our rink
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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