Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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