I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
