I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
