Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
