Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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