How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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