After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize