I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
