I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize