State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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