I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
we're so committed to being not committed
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize