Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
