Dual....:-)
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize