I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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