I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
