Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My penis needs a shock collar
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
