What did we do last night that was yellow?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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