Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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