I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
