road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
