drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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