goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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