How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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