Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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