hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
