He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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