i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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