Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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