I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize