We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
