You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
