Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
