There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Houston, we have a blender
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
