My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
