you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
