i would punch a child for taco bell
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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