ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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