What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
