We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize