I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize