I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
