dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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