I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
