I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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