I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
