Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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