Porn is love you can see.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize