it was like his penis was on wheels.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
